Wayne McGurk's Superbrawl RP: The Sound of Silence

[citizenmike]

Wayne and Vanessa didn't say anything on the ride back. In fact, they've hardly spoken at all once they hit the road. The most talking they did was when they went through Burger King drive through. Vanessa didn't like it, but then again she could hardly care. Wayne just stopped by to get Scarlett something.

There was nothing in that car but silence. Not even the radio was on. The most noise they'd make was when one or the other'd roll down the window for a smoke. Or vice-versa.

To sum it all up, really: Wayne didn't know what to say to Vanessa, and Vanessa had nothing to say to Wayne. However, that was wrong. She did have something to say to him, but not in front of Scarlett.

Wayne stopped the car along a clearing on the highway.

“This isn't the time or place, Wayne.”, Vanessa said.

“I know, but for these things, it hardly ever is.”, Wayne replied as he reached for the pack of Camel's and opened the door. “Anyway, I could really use a smoke right now.”. Placing the cigarette between his lips, Wayne unbuckled his seatbelt, and stepped out; the door swinging shut behind him.

Vanessa gave herself a moment, before following Wayne outside.

“How long have you known?”, Vanessa asked him.

Wayne exhaled as he slowly turned his head back to her, replying, “Long enough.”. Wayne kept himself where he was as he dug one hand into the pocket of his jacket, as his other hand brought the cigarette back to his lips for another drag. Exhaling, Wayne asked, “Why?”.

Vanessa kept quiet.

“Look, I'm not askin' for the whole story, I just wanna know why?”.

“Think you can spare a stick?”.

Wayne withdrew the pack from his breast pocket and looked at her. He could have just thrown the pack at her, but he didn't. He just walked over, like he always did, and gave it to her.

“Thank you.”, Vanessa murmured as she slipped a stick from the pack, lit it, and handed it back to Wayne.

Wayne in turn nodded, simply, as he drew the pack back to his pocket.

Vanessa leaned against the front of the pick-up as she took a drag off the cigarette. She drew her head down, she just didn't know how to tell him. “I did it...”, Vanessa began before pausing to take a deep breath. “I did it because I needed to be in.”.

“What does that mean?”.

“It means that I did because I needed someone to allow me to roam inside their heads for a bit. I needed someone to tell me what their problems were and what I could do to fix it. That's why.”.

“Why him?... This Marc guy.”.

“Do you really want me to answer that?”.

“Yes, I do.”.

“He let me in.”, Vanessa replied, reaching for another drag.

“Is that all?”.

“No.”, Vanessa quietly replied. “But I just know, that whatever else I tell you, is only going to hurt you.”.

“Vanessa, look at me.”, Wayne said as he looked up at her; his lacerations from his encounter with Drakz earlier that evening still fresh. “I'm hurt enough. I don't think I can possibly think of anything else you can tell me that's gonna make me feel any worse.”.

That was a lie. There were a number of things Vanessa could tell him right now that would make him feel worse, incredibly worse. Marc... Fucking Marc. He wasn't just silently cursing the bastard, that was the image that was going through his head as he looked at her. Vanessa, in his arms, on his bed. Doing the things that Wayne's tried, and was never able to do. Wayne was sure that in that moment, there wasn't a woman alive who was having better sex than the sex Vanessa was having inside his head.

He wanted to scream.

He couldn't scream like that, in front of her. And he reckoned that he was probably too tired to scream.

“I don't believe you.”, Vanessa said as she drew the cigarette back for a smoke.

Wayne ditched the cigarette he was smoking, reached for the pack, and lit another one. Taking a drag, he asked. “Do you still see him? Do you still talk to him, at all?”.

“It's been a week since I last spoke to him.”.

“A week?”.

“Yes, a week.”.

“What did you tell him?”.

“What differences does it make, Wayne?”.

“What?”, Wayne had to ask.

“I said, what-”,

Wayne cut her off and said, “I know what you said, I just can't believe you said it. So, what is it? Does he know about me? Does he know about our daughter? Do you even plan on breaking it off with him?.”. Wayne's tone began to rise. “What is it Vanessa?”.

Vanessa looked right at Wayne as she brought the cigarette close to her lips. “He knows everything.”.

“So, what then?”.

“I don't know.”.

“Do you love him?”.

“I don't know.”.

Wayne heard enough.

Taking the cigarette off his lips, Wayne ditched it along the side of the highway as he walked back to the car.

“You're not going anywhere.”, Vanessa said, exhaling.

Wayne stopped where he was and turned to her.

“You want to talk, lets talk.”, Vanessa began. “Wayne, you had no right airing out something that personal out there, on live television, for the entire world to hear.”.

Wayne lit another cigarette. Closing his eyes, he knew there was going to be more.

“Saying sorry ain't gonna do much, won't it?”.

“No, it won't. I'm not even going to ask you why, because I already know. I know the point you were making and everything around it, but still, you had no right to do that to me. See, this is what I still can't figure out about you? You go through all this inner-torment, that you're too proud to even let me in on, but still, you feel the need, to voice it all out in the oddest of times. Why, Wayne, why?”.

“You know I can't answer that.”, Wayne replied, exhaling.

Vanessa took one last drag before she flicked the cigarette off her hand. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, “This is why I found Marc. This is why I feel the way I do about him, and don't think that takes anything away from what I do about you. But Wayne, being with him...”. Vanessa stopped herself as she bit her words, tears slowly forming beneath her eyes; she had taken it this far, and she couldn't go back now. “It... It makes me feel like something I haven't felt in a long time. It makes me feel free. When I'm with him, I don't have to worry about how to put up with you sometimes, I don't even have to worry about Scarlett... And don't, please. Do not say anything, because I know, more than anyone else, how selfish that sounds and how selfish that feels. I know.”, Vanessa broke.

“If you felt this way all this time, why didn't you just do something about it?”.

“And do what?”.

“I don't know... Maybe tell me. Fuck, Vanessa, you could have gotten the damn thing over and leave me! You didn't have to put me through all this fucking crap!”.

“All this crap?”, Vanessa said as she slapped Wayne on the arm. “All this fucking crap? How about all the crap you've given me throughout the years. Jesus, Wayne, I was happy and everything, but I didn't know how to put up with your little acts of heroism. I'm not saying that I didn't appreciate it, but the least you could have done was let me in. It was all I wanted.”.

Wayne turned away from Vanessa and took a drag off his cigarette, pacing along the intersection as cars passed them.

“I just don't know what to say.”, Wayne began as he turned to her. “I don't even know what to do, what to think. I just feel like a dick.”.

“No, don't say that.”.

“It's true... Fuck, all these years you wasted with a dick.”

“That's not fair. Don't be mean.”, Vanessa said, her voice breaking again. “Jesus, Wayne, I love you. What the hell is this, I'm in love with you, I still am.”

“Don't you dare say that, because if you were, then you wouldn't have gone out with this God damned, Marc guy.”.

Vanessa motioned forward and slapped Wayne hard across the face; his cigarette flying out of his mouth and onto the side of the highway.

Wayne turned back at her and looked at her, with a look that expressed anger, surprise, and maybe, just maybe, rage.

“How dare you, Wayne.”, Vanessa said, coldly; tears falling down her eyes. “Hasn't it even gotten through that the reason I stayed this long and hung on this way was because of how I feel about you? I'm only going to say this once, and you can take whatever you want from it... But I don't think any one's ever given me, freely, the things you gave me. Don't you know how much that matters to me? No one has ever treated me as wonderfully as you have, but that comes at a price, a price you can't see. I'm sorry, Wayne. I think, right now, its time we...”. Vanessa dripped her head and closed her eyes, mumbling quietly. “I think its time we just.”.

“Don't say it, I already know what you're going to say.”, Wayne said. “Let's do it.”.

Wayne and Vanessa turned their separate ways and walked back into the car. Wayne started the car and slipped on his shades, murmuring, “Say it.”.

“I think its time we went our separate ways.”.

“That's what I thought.”, Wayne said as he drove off. Behind the glasses, tears welled up beneath his own eyes. And behind them, the family that once crowned themselves McGurk, the cigarette that was left in the highway rolled its way into the adjacent field, slowly setting the crops around it on a vicious blaze.

[citizenmike]

"Oh now feel it comin' back again,
Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind,
Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again,
I can feel it..."
-From "Lightning Crashes"
Music & Lyrics By:
Ed Kowalczyk

Wayne McGurk Superbrawl VI RP:
Lightning Crashes

Cast of Characters:
Wayne McGurk... The Protagonist, The Challenger, The Father, The Husband, Wrestler
Vanessa Gillespie... Wayne's Ex-Wife, The Mother, Wrestler
Scarlett Gillespie-McGurk... Wayne and Vanessa's Daughter.
Frank McGurk... Wayne's Father
Ben Vega... Wayne and Vanessa's road agent.
Marc Russo... Vanessa's Lover
Emily Roth... A writer.

Table Of Contents:
Prologue: Ghost Highway
Act One: The Sound of Silence
Act Two: The Candy Everybody Wants
Act Three: She is My Cain
Epilogue: Eden

[citizenmike]

“Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence”
-From “The Sound of Silence”,
Music and Lyrics by:
Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel

“Wayne...”

“Wayne...”

“Wayne...”

Wayne opened his eyes to the sight of blue skies; piercing they were as they almost covered his field of vision, almost, had it not been for the frames surrounding the large window. Wayne kept himself where he was, on that plastic chair, as for the first time in years, possibly decades, he watched as the clouds rolled past him. Blue and white, the most honest things he had seen in a long time. He chased a cloud as it drifted out of view. When he first opened his eyes, it seemed to stroll by as a dragon of sorts, before gently, and gracefully breaking away into little specs. The leftovers, what little they were, trailed along in a shape he could have sworn was a face.

Clouds. Just like ink blots. Maybe they were what people wanted them to be...

“Wayne...”,

Wayne felt the tap on his shoulder. Wayne turned his head back to Ben, replying, “Yeah.”.

“It's time, kid.”, Ben said.

Wayne nodded only. Giving himself a moment to breath, Wayne rose slowly. Straightening himself, Wayne fixed his jacket and tucked his hair back. Reaching behind for the handle of his suitcase, Wayne nodded at Ben, and in turn, Ben nodded back and in that instant, the two men began to walk down the corridor.

“Remember Wayne.”, Ben began. “I'm gonna need you to be cool, alright? Do I need to go over the plan?”.

“No you don't.”, Wayne replied. “I know the plan, get in, say hi, and then leave.”.

Ben pat Wayne on the back and said, “That's good. You can do this.”.

“I know.”, Wayne nodded, craving the hold of a cigarette. “Anyway, I don't intend on talking much, and I don't think there's any need to make an impression.”.

“Gotcha.”, Ben said.

The two men approached the gate.

“So, do you think you're ready?”, Ben asked.

“I reckon I am.”.

Wayne turned his head as Ben looked at the gate and said, “Alright, here they come.”.

Wayne turned his head and caught the very sight he knew existed; the very thought he had denied to himself. Wayne closed his eyes again and as he struggled to find what little sense of peace he could conjure. Opening them again, he directed his sights towards the gate and watched as Vanessa and Scarlett walked out of the terminal. Behind Vanessa, and considerably close, was the man Wayne knew instantly as Marc.

It was fast, but he wasn't the least bit surprised. It was one of those awful things that'd run through your mind, something you knew was real, a possibility, even in the confines of your own imagination. And there it was, staring back at Wayne, as he was staring straight at it.

“It's amazing.”, Wayne sighed. “I used to be able to tell that woman anything and now, just to arrange to something as simple as picking up Scarlett, I need you to act as some sort of liaison.”.

“Hey, if you're not up for it, I can pick her up for you.”.

“No, it's alright. I ca-”, Wayne spoke, but before he could even finish his sentence, he heard the sound and call of a voice that instantly covered him with a warm sense of hope, of love, and happiness.

It was the moving sound of a little girl shouting out, “Daddy!”.

A grin grew across Wayne's face as he knelt down and opened his arms to Scarlett as she crashed into him. Picking her up, Wayne hoisted her in his arms and kissed her as he pulled her into him for a hug, whispering, “I've missed you so much, Honey Bunny.”.

Scarlett wrapped her arms around Wayne's neck as tight as she could and said, “I missed you too, Daddy.”.

Wayne held her and looked at her, “Why don't you say hello to Uncle Ben for a moment, while I go over there and talk to mommy, alright?”.

Scarlett nodded, and in turn, Wayne kissed her on the forehead and murmured, “Good girl.”.

Slowly, Wayne let her down and walked over to Vanessa... And the bastard, Marc.

Behind him, Scarlett looked up at Ben and asked, “Is Daddy gonna talk to Mommy to ask if we can come home already?”.

Ben didn't know what to tell her. He smiled softly and replied, “I don't think so, kid. But I hope so. I know for a fact that you're daddy still loves your mommy very much.”.

“Good.”, Scarlett said. “Because I think so too.”.

Wayne caught their hands before it broke away. He couldn't point what was going on with him, what was running through his head. All he knew, all he couldn't think of, was the fact that before, not too long ago, those were his hands interlocked with hers... That was his hand pressed against hers. And now, his hands were empty.

“Hey.”, Wayne said, shrugging almost, as they approached him... “Hey”... Why'd he have to say that word?

“Hi.”, Vanessa said approaching him as she released her hand from Marc's.

It was awful. It was awkward. It was like they both didn't know what to do.

“These are Scarlett's things.”, Vanessa said, breaking the silence as she handed Wayne Scarlett's suitcase. “I guess that should last about two weeks. Her assignments are all there, I packed some of the videos she likes, and I-.”

Wayne cut her off and said, “I've got it. Don't worry. I was there too, remember?”.

“Right.”, Vanessa murmured.

Wayne reached for the suitcase and in doing so, he inadvertently touched the top of Vanessa's hand. Again, he didn't know what to make of it, really. It felt nice... It felt better than nice; admittedly, it felt good, it felt great. But then again, there was also something painful about it. Like he had to mourn somehow... It was like getting lucky in a funeral, it didn't feel right, then again, it didn't feel wrong. As good as it felt, it hurt. The hurt outweighed everything... It was bittersweet. And it stung.

Wayne reckoned his hand had been there too long, so slowly, he took the handle away from Vanessa's hand and placed Scarlett's suitcase beside him.

“Well, I reckon I'll see you.”, Wayne said.

“Yeah...”, Vanessa said too.

“Goodbye.”. With those words, Wayne turned away and walked back to Ben and Scarlett.

“Have fun with your daddy, sweetie!”, The bastard, Marc, spoke.

Wayne turned back and walked up to Marc.

“Wayne, don't.”, Vanessa pleaded.

Wayne looked at Marc coldly. And sternly, he told the bastard, “Don't even start. You aren't her father. You weren't there. She isn't yours to take.”.

Wayne turned away and returned to Scarlett and Ben. Taking Scarlett's hand, Wayne walked away.

Scarlett tugged Wayne, forcing him to stop. Looking back at her, Wayne asked, “What is it?”.

“You're my Daddy.”, Scarlett began. “No one can take me away from you.”.

Wayne walked up to Scarlett and picked her up, murmuring, “Thank you.”.

<***>

“You're a liar, you know that?”.

“How can I possibly be a liar?”.

“Well, you lied to me... See? I can tell by that look on your face alone. You've never been here before, have you?”.

“That isn't true.”.

“Be honest here, I don't like liars.”.

“I've been here before.”.

“Really?”.

“Yeah, it was during a stop over.”.

Marc took Vanessa's hand and led her through the streets of downtown Minneapolis. Looking back at her as they reached the end of the sidewalk, he said, “I told you I wasn't lying.”.

“You weren't.”, Vanessa said, grinning. “But you were close.”.

“That's close, it doesn't make me anywhere near.”.

“In a manner of speaking.”.

“In a manner of speaking, of course.”.

Vanessa walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek. Marc smiled at her before turning towards the street. “You know, I'm glad you're...”.

“I'm?”

“Back to your old self.”, Marc answered. “You've been quiet since we got here. I mean I'm not pointing it out, and I don't have a problem with it. I completely understand it, really... ".

“Don't worry, I get it.”, Vanessa smiled. “Thank you.”.

Marc smiled back as he looked up at the stop light flashing red. “Come on, it's our light.”

Crossing the street, Marc reached his hand around Vanessa's shoulders; their hands still interlocked.

This was nothing new to Vanessa. She had these moments with Marc before, but as they walked across the street, she turned her head, thinking to herself, that this was different. She didn't have to hide, she could just be there.

Wow. She had nothing to worry about.

There wasn't anything to worry about. It was the same with Wayne, but there was always that thought hovering over her like a cloud, like she had to take care of him. Maybe that was the key all along; the price.

With Marc now, there was no price. There was just the moments; peace. It was what it was.

“Ok.”, Marc said, rushing, as he withdrew his arm off her shoulder and led her down the street. “This is where Husker Du had their first gig.”, he said pointing at a building.

“That's a Laundromat.”, Vanessa quipped, raising an eyebrow.

“That's what it is now.”, Marc shot back. “Just think, decades ago, this was one of the places to be. Everyone from the 'Mats to Soul Asylum played here.”.

“You're just making things up as you go along, aren't you?”.

“I am.”, Marc said turning back to her as he placed his hands on her shoulder. “But think of it this way, Minneapolis according to Marc Russo. History, in what's relatively foreign territory told in my eyes.”.

“I like that.”, Vanessa nodded; eyebrows raised coyly. “So tell me, what happened over there, in that news stand?”.

“You don't know?”, Marc asked, feinting shock.

“Nope. That's why I'm asking you.”.

“Well, I'm glad you asked, it's a wonderful story.”.

“Is it?”.

“It is. Well...”, Marc placed his hands on his hips as he stared at the news stand up the street. “Well, back in nineteen seventy three, there was this one particular day in June, summer, and nothing happened.”.

“Nothing happened?”.

“Exactly, it caused a bit of news shortage, because no paper, no tv or radio station had anything to talk about, so this one little tabloid did a story about a potential water shortage. Apparently, the city was actually on the verge of a water shortage.”

“A water shortage?”.

“Yeah.”.

“Even though Canada's on the other side of the state, surrounded by, you know, a river?”.

“Yeah, there were territorial disputes.”.

“Good save.”.

“Thank you. So, going back, this one official, assistant to the deputy mayor, began to panic. The poor guy was just paranoid, because he had mentioned the story to his wife, so he was thinking, maybe she told her friends about it, and eventually the story just circulated before that tabloid picked it. So, he rushes across the city, going to every news stand picking up every copy of the tabloid he could find. And he's just becoming increasingly paranoid. When he gets there to that particular news stand. The very news stand, you my dear, pointed to, he just broke. He had gotten all the tabloids but one. And the guy paid for it, and for whatever reason, he wasn't going to give it back. So, what the deputy mayor does is that he grabs the news paper.”.

“I thought it was a tabloid?”.

“Same thing.”, Marc shrugged. “He grabs the tabloid from the guy and they start duking it out in a tug-of-war, until, the poor guy just can't take it anymore, so he jumps on the guy and starts pounding him for the news paper. The cops are called in, its a huge mess. Long story short, the guy with the tabloid files a case against him and the deputy mayor's assistant's career is effectively ruined and over. Never recovered from it, the poor bastard. And eventually, that led him to open up the very same Laundromat we just happen to be standing in front of.”.

“The same one Husker Du, the Replacements, and Soul Asylum started their careers in?”.

“Correct!”.

Vanessa grabbed him by the collar and smirked, “That was a very clever story.”.

“Are you being sarcastic? Because I can't tell.”.

Vanessa closed her eyes, leaned forward and kissed him. Drawing herself away as she hovered her head before him, she asked, murmuring, “Can you tell now?”.

“I think I've got an idea.”.

“Good.”.

Turning towards the Laundromat, Marc said, “You know what, I'm gonna go check this place out, see if they've got a restroom.”.

Vanessa kissed him again, let him go, and said, “Come back soon, ok?”.

Marc turned away, walked in and said, “I'm gonna.”.

Vanessa watched him walk away as she flipped through her purse for a pack of cigarettes and lighter. Placing the stick between her lips, Vanessa lit and took a drag, savoring what she could.

“That's one strapping young man you've got with you.”.

That voice... That familiar voice she hadn't heard in years.

It couldn't be.

Vanessa turned her head to find Frank McGurk, Wayne's deceased father, standing against a lamp pole, in the same suit they buried him in, smoking a cigarette. Vanessa's eyes widened; jaws dropped, as she asked, “Frank... No... It can't be.”.

"You know Wayne had the very same look on his face the first time I did this to him.”.

“No...”, Vanessa said turning her head.

“Take a moment to ask yourself, doll. Take a moment to ask yourself how all this is happening, and I promise the first thing that'll come across that pretty little head of yours will tug on your heart as the truth.”.

“How?”.

“Don't ask how. Just take a moment to let it settle and then accept it.”.

Vanessa turned away for a moment, but then, she gave in and rushed into Frank's arms.

“Oh my God.”, She said, burying her head on his shoulder.

Frank smiled as he placed the cigarette between his lips and held her by the cheek to look at her. “You are as stunning as the last time I saw you, do you know that?”.

“I know that I can take it as a complement.”.

Frank pulled the cigarette away from his lips and said, “It's good to know that despite all the sudden change, some things are still the same.”. Looking at the Laundromat, Frank said, “How about a little stroll? Just like old times.”.

“Frank, I can't.”.

“Sure you can. It's as easy as saying yes, and I promise I'll have you back by the time your beau gets out of the bathroom.”.

Vanessa looked back for a moment before turning to Frank again, saying, “Why not.”.

“'Atta girl.”., Frank said as he opened his arm to her.

Vanessa cupped her arm around Frank's elbow, and with that, the two walked off.

“To make it clear, before anything.”, Frank began. “I'm not here to ask you about Wayne, I'm not here to ask you about Scarlett. I am simply here to to spend time with the closest I've ever come to a daughter.”.

Vanessa looked back at him and kissed him on the cheek. “I appreciate that. Thank you.”.

“Think nothing of it. So, tell me about this beau of yours.”.

“Marc?”.

“If that's his name, yes.”, Frank answered before taking a drag.

“We met a little over a year ago during a stop over in Dallas. I was doing my own stint at the WFWF, this was before Wayne came back. We met there, he knew me because apparently a colleague of his follows wrestling and was a little too shy to ask for an autograph. He mentioned he works for a marketing firm, so we discussed some ideas, and hit it off. Stayed in contact.”.

“So it was platonic?”.

“At first. But then, one night, while Wayne was away on a show, we met up. He had just lost out on this firm he had spent months on securing. And Wayne was going through one of his things, and I needed a drink, and I was vulnerable. One thing led to another, it just happened. That isn't to say that instantly lost what I fell for Wayne, but it just seemed to divide me.”. Vanessa shrugged and took in a drag. Exhaling, she closed her eyes and said, “You must hate right now.”.

“I don't.”, Frank replied. “My love for you is similar to that of Wayne's, it is unconditional. However, I will say this. Wayne is his mother's son more than he realizes. Why else do you think Angela and I drifted apart?”.

Vanessa began to tear.

Placing his cigarette back between his lips, Frank withdrew a napkin from his pocket and handed it Vanessa.

Vanessa wiped the tears away from her eyes, murmuring, “Thank you.”.

“It's alright, dear. I understand. I was once where you are now.”.

Vanessa nodded. “You are right, Frank. Nothing's changed about me. You've been dead for years but I can still open myself up to you this way.”.

“It's the bond between a father and lady he colors daughter.”.

“I wished it was. I can't even be like this with my own father.”.

“Well, if you would allow this aspiring gentleman, I would like to be that person to you.”.

“You always have.”.

Frank kissed Vanessa on the forehead as they continued strolling. “So, how are you holding up?”.

“Me?”.

“Yes, you.”.

“Take a guess.”.

“Happy, but considerably confused.”.

“I just wished it was over and done with all ready.”.

“Wish what was over?”.

“All this.”.

“All this what?”.

“Confusion and regret.”.

“You know what I've learned a long time ago?”.

“What?”.

“Well, I've learned that as long as I'm conscious, there will always be something that will trouble me and confuse me. The moment one crisis ends, another begins. It's the way we, as conscious, beings operate. But the trick there, is to never allow it to get to you. To dictate your actions. The only thing you can know for sure and find closure in is knowing that it will resolve itself in the end, for the better.”.

As they reached the end of the block, they found themselves standing back in front of the Laundromat.

“Don't condemn yourself." Frank said. "Enjoy this time, find the peace here. In time, you will know what's important and what truly you feel. These are things you can't find straight away, but they will creep upon you. You know what you know, just give yourself the allowance to find yourself.”.

“I will.”.

“Good. And with that, I take my leave.”.

Vanessa hugged Frank and asked, “Will I ever see you again?”.

“I'm here when you need me, even when you don't know it yourself.”.

Slowly the two let go.

Frank paused where he was and said, "I just have one question to ask you.”.

“Shoot.”.

“Are you happy? Again, its not a question to think about. It's the first thing that comes to your mind that will answer it for you. That said, again, I ask, are you happy?”.

Vanessa looked at Frank. She thought of him, then she thought of Wayne; she didn't know what to feel about him. And then she thought of Marc. It felt nice.

“I am.”, Vanessa answered.

“Then my child, I am glad to hear that.”. Frank said as he began to vanish. “I'll see you soon, doll.”.

“See you soon, dad.”, Vanessa waved.

"What did I miss?"

“Nothing.”, Vanessa replied, turning back to him. “I just came across an old friend.”.

“I wished I was here sooner, I'd have liked to have met him.”.

“Maybe, its best you didn't.”.

“How so?”.

“Nothing, it's just that my dad can be pretty critical about the men I see.”.

“That was your father?”.

“Indeed it was.”. Vanessa said as she reached for Marc's hand. “So, how about we continue this little walking tour of ours?”.

<***>

“How'd it go with her?”.

“She's happy, son. What can I can I tell you?”.

“You can start by telling me what happened.”.

“Do you want that?”.

“I think I do.”.

“You think?”.

“I'm sure.”, Wayne said he turned to Frank, nodding his head.

It was early afternoon, just after lunch, as Wayne and Frank McGurk, son and father, sat on a bench outside the convention center.

Wayne took a drag off his cigarette, as he waited for Frank to say something. He looked around at the people gathered outside, all of them waiting in line to get inside, buy things, get their stuff signed and maybe snap a picture with some of the wrestlers there.

Wayne shrugged. He was still waiting for Frank to talk and he cursed himself for allowing Ben to book him for this thing. Maybe he needed time away... Maybe he needed to distract himself. Wayne didn't know.

“Well, she's happy.”, Frank finally spoke.

“You already told me that.”, Wayne said quietly. “I just want to know what happened, and where they were and what they were doing.”.

“They were in Minneapolis. Walking around. He hadn't been there, so he gave her a pretty much blinded, yet interestingly and well versed spiel about all the different places they walked by. It was pretty interesting.”.

“What did he say?”.

“He just pointed at buildings, talked about how some bands played there.”.

“Did she know any of those bands?”.

“It seems like she did.”.

“What happened then?”.

“Then he went on this long thing about a guy who worked for city hall who told his wife about a water shortage and how it spread all over town when it was really just a story that some tabloid put out, coincidentally.”.

“Is it true?”.

“How the hell should I know?!”, Frank answered as he lit a cigarette of his own.

“Then what happened?”.

“Basically, he had to take a leak and I spoke to her.”.

“You talked to her?”.

“It seemed as a good as a time as any.”.

“What she say?”.

“She's happy. She's confused. It's obvious enough, but she didn't say it. I just asked her if she was happy, and she told me she was.”.

“She didn't say anything about me?”.

“She didn't, I'm sorry.”.

“Does she think about me?”.

“Jesus kid, why don't you ask her yourself.”.

“I can't.”.

“Why not? You used to tell this woman everything.”.

“I know.”, Wayne said, pausing as he drew the cigarette back to his lips. “I just can't... Not right now, anyway.”.

Frank rose, looked down at his son, and said, “You know you're just making this whole thing worse. All you have to do is talk to her.”.

Wayne looked up at Frank, slightly irritated. “Well, I did that. And you what happened when I did? She told me she wanted to leave me. It's barely been month and she's with this Marc guy like nothing ever happened! No. I'm not talking to her.”.

“If you want to torment yourself like a fucking teenager, go right ahead.”. Frank said as he began to vanish. “I'll see you around, son.”.

Wayne gave himself a moment, as he took in what was left of his cigarette. He didn't want to see anyone, or talk to anyone. He just wanted to be alone.

Wayne thought about everything there was to think about. Actually, he never stopped thinking the moment after he and Vanessa had that fight along the highway. He didn't need this, not now anyway.

He had things to do.

“Upon the wall, the life is drawn
The love is lost, the truth will fall
The sinking ship, the sinking soul
The final fear
The picture on the wall”
-From Catherine Wheel's “The Nude”
Music & Lyrics By:
Rob Dickinson

[citizenmike]

Hands,
My Daddy's hands.
With a smile,
They reach out to me.

My Daddy's hands.

I stand in front of him,
High on top a bench.

Hands,
my hands,
In my hands,
I hold his gloves.

I covered his hands,
Awhile ago,
With the white tape.
And now,
I will cover his hands,
With his gloves.

"Can I watch you fight tonight?",
I ask my Daddy.

Daddy looks at Uncle Ben,
He looks like he's thinking.
If Uncle Ben wasn't here,
He would have looked at Mommy.

It's weird to be with Mommy in one place,
And then with Daddy in another place.
I don't like it.

"Sure you can, sweetie.".
My Daddy says.

"Can I watch you fight again tomorrow?".
I ask my Daddy.

“No.”,
My Daddy says,
As I slip the glove over his hand.

“Why?”.
I ask my Daddy,
As I close the velcro thing.

“Because I don't want you watching it.”,
My Daddy says.

“Why not?”,
I ask my Daddy,
As I get the other glove.

“Because I'm going to get hurt tomorrow.”,
My Daddy says.

“But you get hurt every time you wrestle.”,
I say to my Daddy,
As I place the other glove on his hand.

My Daddy smirks.
There it is again!
Did I say something funny again?
“I know.”,
My Daddy says,
“But tomorrow's going to be different. The man I'm gonna fight really wants to hurt me. He's hurt me enough, and I don't want you watching that.”.

I don't say anything.
I force the other glove,
On his other hand.
I want him to know I'm mad.
Well,
I'm not mad.
I'm just upset.

“You remember that time.”,
Daddy continues talking.
“Back when were living in Mexico, and you saw one of my matches on tv?”.

I nod,
As I close the velcro thingy again.

“That was a very violent match, and I got hurt realy bad there. You remember?”,
My Daddy continues talking.
I nod again.
“And do you remember, what happened when you watched it?”.

“I started crying.”,
I say to him,
As he holds my shoulders,
And looks at me.

“You did. I just don't ever want to see you crying like that again.”.

I look up at Daddy,
And say,
“Maybe if you beat him really fast, you won't have to get hurt, and maybe I can still watch the match.”.

“Look, I promise you that I am going to try to win as fast as I can. For you, that's a given. But I can't promise you that I am not going to get hurt really bad, because I am... And that's why I can't make you watch it. You understand?”.

I nod,
Hug my Daddy,
and drop my head on his shoulder.

Daddy hugs me,
And then, he picks me up,
And then, he carries me.

“Everything's gonna be alright.”,
My Daddy says.

<***>

Turning head to the end of the corridor, it was the sound of Wolfgang's “Sanctified” that called to him. It was time. He kissed his daughter goodbye and asked her for a whish of luck. Ben took Scarlett one way, as Wayne walked another.

Wayne walked towards the curtain. With each passing step, the sound of “Sanctified” just seemed to grow louder and louder and louder; it was almost deafening. By the time he made his way through, whatever deafness he was experiencing was overcome and slowly balanced with a sudden rush of blindness.

Wayne was no stranger to this, he had been here before.

...And so had Vanessa. Barefoot, she took her steps in the darkness. Shattered through whatever speckle of night radiated from the blinds, Vanessa saw Marc... Waiting. Waiting, as she was too.

Vanessa couldn't tell though. She couldn't tell if it was desire or obligation that fueled her. She did know she wanted it, but she couldn't quite tell if it was all for the right reason.

Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn't.

All she could do was find out...

Wayne dropped himself against the turnbuckle as he waited for his opponent. Wayne really didn't know what to expect. He'd been here before and he knew that tonight wasn't going to be anything special. Win or lose, he'd have walked out the same way he came in: without a damn thing.

Wayne reckoned, maybe he was better off this way. Just move from one match to another, in the end, its just another paycheck. That's all it ever would amount to in the end.

Wayne rolled out the ring and reached for his jacket, with drew a pack of cigarette's, and lit a stick. His God damned opponent was taking forever to get to the ring.

… Vanessa could tell that Marc was getting impatient. As he smoked that cigarette, he had that look on his face, and she would just rather crawl up next to him smoke what he's got, and do nothing at all.

She kept her eyes on him. His eyes were already set on her, waiting. Just waiting. He blew a cloud of smoke that said enough. Vanessa nodded and slipped off her shirt...

Finally. Wayne ditched the cigarette, rolled back in and went forward a clothesline. The referee stepped away and called for the bell just as...

… Vanessa hit the bed, on her back, facing Marc. Closing her eyes, she crossed her legs around the bulk of him as she pulled in for a kiss. Marc held her down as he frantically freed himself off his shirt...

Wayne picked the opponent by the hair and motioned in for another clothesline, as the opponent ducked over and hit Wayne in the back with a drop kick. Wayne stumbled over and dropped between the ropes. The opponent above him sprung forward and began choking him out.

… Marc held Vanessa away as he crunched his fingers around her thick red locks. Sitting up, Marc looked down at Vanessa as she worked on him; her green eyes looking up at him. Vanessa pulled herself away, turned her head and mounted...

Wayne shoved an elbow between the opponents ribs, motioned off the ropes, and sprung forward violently with a spear.

… Vanessa's sudden “violence”, or at least so according to Marc, was infectious. Quickly, he pulled her over and set himself above her as he took her legs and thrust himself into her; Vanessa's body jerking...

Over his opponent, Wayne didn't know what it was, but he wanted to hurt his opponent. Ripping off his gloves Wayne began to pound shots across his opponent's head, battering the opponent senselessly. Quickly, the referee motioned himself between the two men. Quickly, the opponent rose, sprung forward and knocked Wayne in the side of the head with a thunderous Polish hammer; Wayne's head jerked back as...

… Vanessa's head nudged to the side, as she wrapped her legs around the bulk of Mark again; her toes curly with every involuntary clench...

Holding his jaw, Wayne motioned back towards his opponent and quickly tied himself into a tie-up. Both Wayne and the opponent pushing themselves for the advantage. In a moment, the opponent had Wayne against the corner. With the tie-up broken, Wayne ducked the incoming forearm chop, pushed his opponent chest-first into the turnbuckle, grabbed him by the head and dropped him down with the reverse ddt, and in that instant, Wayne locked in the dragon sleeper and began to shove the bulk of his elbows against the opponent's ribs. The opponent cried, his arms wailing about as the merciless barrage of elbow shots seemed as if it were never to end; each shot had seen to come as quickly and as numbingly painful as the last one before it.

This was the end. Wayne knew...

… As did Vanessa. Marc's thrusts we're growing in their speed and intensity. She already saw herself five minutes into the future: unsatisfied.

Here it came... The rolling eyes, and the final push...

It was over, the referee pulled Wayne away from the opponent and called for the bell. Wayne allowed his arm to be raised. It was an empty victory. There was nothing earned here. It was all part of a routine Wayne knew all too well. Walking back, there was no sense of accomplishment or anything of the like. It was what he did; nothing more, nothing less.

… Motioning herself off him, Vanessa rolled to the side. Turning her head back to Marc, he smiled, gave him a kiss and said, plainly, “That was great. Good night.”. Turning to her side, Vaness'a pulled the sheets over her shoulder and closed her eyes.

She didn't know what it was, but she felt a million miles away. She was lost, simply. In the darkness, saw highway. It was a sight she often associated with Wayne and there was some comfort there, but not enough to save her, let alone make her feel at least an ounce better. As the highway began to surround her, she saw roads pointing in every direction. She kept herself where she was and studied each direction. She was prepared to step in whatever direction she felt the closest to; she was allowing herself to be led by intuition.

There was nothing to left of her, neither was there anything on the right. There wasn't anything she could see before her and she knew that if she took even the slightest step back, she'd be right back to wherever it was she came from. Tonight, in whatever way it was, it was in a bed with Marc... That was that last thing she wanted. She could take the side roads... But then again, she conjured, she could end up right where she was now, lost.

Dammit.

Wherever she was, in this fantasy that was luring itself into the boundaries of dreaming itself, she wanted to change it. She wanted something else. Vanessa' turned her head down, and murmured, “Ok, this is all mine. This is a world that I can actually control. When I look up, this highway will be gone. It will be lost, forever, in center of my mind, and instead I will see something else.”.

Dammit.

It was still highway.

Looking up at the sky, she watched as birds flocked. And in their flock, they danced; recklessly, yet with awesome precision. It was as if it had been exercised before; somehow, choreographed.

Slowly, she felt herself lifted. It was as if a force beneath her was carrying her, and above her, was another force. Invisible little strings that held her in place as if she was some kind of puppet.

As she neared the birds, the sky began to part, and a voice, calling from somewhere in heavens began to sing and hum. It was similar to her own, yet it was deeper. The humming voice resonated a sound that was sinister as it was naive and pure.

“You know where to go, child. You're just afraid to look. Deep within ourselves is the woman calling out, the woman crying, the woman singing. The woman calls out for release. The woman cries to be heard. And the woman sings songs of what she already knows.

I have heard you call. I have heard you cry. And I have heard you sing. And to that, I simply laugh. It amuses me. It amuses me how our facades can turn us blind to ourselves.

You see child, not only can we know everything, we know everything. We are too scared to see it... Perhaps it isn't fear, but rather the crippling feeling that such knowledge will take away from the mysteries of life. The excitement such mysteries bring to us.

I can not tell you everything. But I can show you the way.

Are you ready?”.

Vanessa nodded. And in this, this fantasy come dream come vision of hers, Vanessa saw herself looking down at her body as she drifted towards the voice. Her facade floated nude amongst the flock, as slowly, they flew closer and closer to her facade, covering it. As they danced in controlled anarchy, she ascended in a final push that took her directly into the mouth of the voice.

She floated in a swirl of colors, and this swirl, she found peace and knowing. Though incomplete and far from absolute, she had the peace she needed and she knew what to do and what she wanted.

Slowly, she descended back into her facade. In the midst of the violent dervish of birds, Vanessa held her hands and felt them as if she were touching them for the first time, with wonder.

Slowly, the flocked drifted away as she descended back to the highway. From a sudden sight far away, Vanessa's smiled as she looked at herself. Once again, she was adorned in her old Phoenix ring gear: an auburn battle-dress with dark flames creeping along the sides; a mask veiling her.

Looking around, Vanessa, the Phoenix, did not know where to turn. Looking down, she smirked, murmuring, “Forget walking, I'm flying.”. And with those words, she ascended towards the heavens again.

<***>

Outside the convention center, Wayne waited for Scarlett and Ben. Smoking a cigarette, Wayne dropped himself against the wall as he allowed himself to drift. It was the first moment he truly had to himself, and not that didn't mind the company, it was something he reckoned he needed. For a bit, at least.

“That fuckin' bastard. I could have sworn I had him tonight. I don't know what it was, or what it is, but there something satisfying about beating that kid. Granted, I walked away just as empty as I came in. But there was some satisfaction there that scares me.

It was almost as if I was in control, it was almost as if I was in charge of my own destiny. It was right there, in my hand. Flowing...”, Wayne paused as he exhaled. “Through my veins as I saw, in the eyes of my broken opponent tonight, the man that done this... All of this to me.

Drakz. And damned be that name.

Maybe he ruined me.

Maybe he freed me.

It's much too early to tell right now, but that bastard did something. About a month ago, I had everything I reckoned I wanted: a family. A home that I never wanted to leave, so I took that home with me, wherever I went. And I carried it.

It was my traveling caravan of joy, of peace, and of comfort. And there, I saw my daughter and I looked into the future and I saw what I was meant to do from that moment on. I wanted to help all the new faces that came to the WFWF. I wanted to give them the chance that was so generously given to me. I wanted to improve, so I could be ready. So that one day, I could do the same for Scarlett, when she takes that step into the wicked world we call the squared circle. I wanted to be there for her. To use my my knowledge to guide her, so she would never have to endure the hardship her mother and I faced together.

I speak of her now... And I can't deny that I miss her, and that I want her back, and I want to make up for what we did and what we said. But I can't. I gave my life to Vanessa, she was my world. Recklessly and carelessly, I was thoughtless, because I only thought and acted for her and for Scarlett.

Maybe its easier now that I have one person to fight for, but I'll be damned, because I won't be doing enough... That glass will always be half full.

Why Drakz, why?

I just wanted to help people.

I didn't want my life to be taken away from me.

You are the Devil. You are the sinister voice that creeps into our heads and makes us say things, things that weren't given the time to be thought through. And you are the sinister urge that unleashes the violence within us, and I will see to it that the very violence you conjure gets turned and used against you.”.

Wayne looked at the cigarette to find that he was holding on to a burnt out butt that must've burned away. Flicking, the cigarette butt off his hands, Wayne saw a woman approaching him in the distance.

“Excuse me.”, the woman spoke. “You're Wayne McGurk, right?”.

Lighting another cigarette, Wayne kept the stick between his lips, extended his hand and replied, “I am, what can I do for you?”.

Emily shook Wayne's hand an answered, "I'm Emily Roth, a writer for the New Cambridge Times.”, Releasing it quickly, Emily riffled through her purse, withdrew a calling card and handed it to Wayne. “I'm doing a feature on pro wrestling and the effects it has on its performers.”.

“We're athletes.” Wayne said as he looked down at the card. “We're fighters. We ain't performers.”.

“I'm sorry.”, Emily said. “That's a mistake on my part.”.

“Don't worry about it. So, what do you want?”.

“I was wondering if you'd be willing to serve as the focal point of the article?”.

“Why me?”.

“Well, from what we've gathered about you, you're a family man. You've been known to take your child on the road with you, and I believe it would offer our readers a different look at professional wrestlers.”.

Wayne took a drag off his cigarette and said, “I can appreciate where you're coming from, but I just split it up with my wife and God forbid we ever have to fight over custody issues. I can not have anything portray me in a negative light right now. I've got enough negativity surrounding me as it is and I don't think I need any more.”.

“I understand that. But please, hear me out. What we're aiming for with this is to portray wrestlers in a sympathetic light, that's all. We've heard stories about how hard a life in a business like this can be, but a majority of people out there, a majority of readers, regardless of how smart they are, or claim to be, do not see that. This article is going to be a change in outlook.”.

Wayne took in another drag as he turned to the side and scratched his head. Looking back at her as a puff drifted from his lips, he asked, “Emily, right?”.

“That's my name.”.

“Do you watch wrestling?”.

“No.”.

“Then, if I can be honest here, why are you writing this article?”.

Emily took a moment before answering, “Because it was the only interesting thing I was assigned to.”, Smirking, she sarcastically added, “If I can be honest.”.

“What the hell.”, Wayne shrugged. “I'll do it. But if there's anything that sheds a negative light on me, then I'm gonna have my name taken off my article.”. Extending his hand, Wayne asked, “Do you we have a deal?”.

Emily took his hand and nodded, “We do.”.

“I've got a match tomorrow night, a pay-per-view event called SuperBrawl, you're welcome to come along. I reckon that should give you plenty to watch.”.

“Thank you.”.

Exhaling Wayne dropped his cigarette and as he did, he caught the sight of Ben and Scarlett coming forward. As Scatlett came closer, Wayne began to laugh. Girl had face paint on. Picking her up as she came to him, Wayne had to ask, “What's that?”.

“What's what, Daddy?”.

“The face paint. Where'd ya get it?”.

“From Watchtower Warrior's girlfriend.”.

Wayne smirked and said, “Say Hello to Emily, Honey Bunny. Show her your wrestling face!”.

Scarlett turned to Emily and grunted; grinning and gritting her teeth as she did. Emily in kind laughed; it was, well, adorable really.

Turning back to her father, Scarlett asked, “Daddy, who is she?”.

“She's a writer, Honey Bunny.”.

“What's she writing?”.

Emily watched as father and child exchange dialogue. Crossing her arms, she began to picture the article. It was as if everything was coming out before her. The poetry of every day life coming before her... This was an article that was going to write itself, really. This was something different, something she hadn't felt in a long time. She knew she didn't have to sit down and stare at blank space for ages, she knew how this was going to turn out. She hadn't picked on a "would-be" article like this in a long time. A long time... She was excited, maybe even inspired.

“A story about me.”, Wayne answered.

“Why?”.

“I don't know.”.

Scarlett kissed her father sweetly and pat him on the head saying, “It's ok to not know.”.

“Alright.”, Wayne said as he put Scarlett down. “I reckon we better head to the hotel, we've got a long drive ahead of us tomorrow.”. Holding Scarlett's hand, Wayne looked at Emily and asked, “So, how do we do this? Do you need a ride or anything?”.

“If you can offer one.”, Emily replied. “That'd be great.”.

“It's settled then.” Wayne said as he turned away. “Lets meet at the lobby over at the Holiday Inn at say, seven am?”.

“That sounds great. Thank you.”.

<***>

Hands,
My Daddy's hand,
Holding onto mine.
Closed.

Uncle Ben walks behind us.
I turn around and look at him,
He doesn't look happy.
He looks...
What's that word I hear a lot?
Why you don't like someone,
Or what their doing,
But you don't really hate them.
You just can't stand them...
What's that word...
"Annoyed",
"Irritated",
Which one is it?
I think its the same thing...

Anyway,
Uncle Ben looks like that.
Whatever it's called.

Daddy opens the door,
To the back seat,
And picks me up.
He puts on the seat belt,
And closes the door.

I can hear Daddy and Uncle Ben talk,
I don't know what their saying,
Because their outside.
But I can hear them.

It's all "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah".

Daddy opens the door,
And gets in,
And says,
"She needed a subject for the article she's doing."

Uncle Ben opens the door,
And gets in,
And says,
“You could have consulted me about this, Wayne. It's what I'm here for!”.

I was right,
It's all,
"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah"!

Daddy turns on the car,
And says,
“I know. I know.”,
He starts to drive,
And then says,
“I figured, I need this.”.

“What do you mean you need this?”,
Uncle Ben says,
Snarling...
Wait...
Is that even a word?

“I need a different perspective."
My daddy says.
"I need to know what someone else thinks of me.”.

“Have you ever gone online?”.
Uncle Ben says.
“There are thousands of people talking, blogging, about you on those message boards! What more do you need?”.

“I need someone there.”,
My Daddy says.

“I know what this is...",
Uncle Ben says smiling,
In a very creepy way.
That creepy look grown ups have,
That isn't creepy,
But just weird.
"Go ahead, you have my blessing and approval. I think this might be good for you.”.

“What?”.

Yes, What?

I'm sleepy,
And they keep on talking.
I don't even know what talking about.
And I don't think Daddy does either.

I close my eyes,
I want to hear music.
But I can't.
Because all I hear,
And all I'm gonna hear,
I think...
Is just "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah"...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
I'm sleeping!

[citizenmike]

"She is my drug,
She is my vein,
She is my life,
She is my pain,
She is my wheat,
She is my grain.

I can abstain,
Though I know,
It's so plain...
She is my Cain.

Upon the night,
I see her eyes,
Her tears are my skies,
Her heart beats my life..."
-From Wolfgang's "She Is My Cain",
Off The Concept Wurm,
Music & Lyrics By:
Basti Artadi & Mon Legaspi

Darkness. A never ending abyss surrounded by bleak speckles of light; radiating for a few moments before disappearing until eventually a new speckle shines over the spot. This could be darkness in accordance to any man, but to Wayne this was his. This was what he knew... If there was anything awful, it was the notion that he didn't know whether his eyes were open or not.

Wayne opened his eyes.

Darkness.

Wayne closed his eyes.

Darkness.

Wayne opened his eyes again.

Darkness once more.

He knew it now. A feeling he had since the darkness came to surround him. A feeling that sunk in deeper and deeper each moment he closed his eyes and opened them again.

He was blind.

Until suddenly, in the darkness, a dash of red light flashed before him. The dash of red light left as quickly as it appeared.

Once more, the flash of red motioned past him. He turned his head and followed the light into the darkness until it grew father and father away, sinking into nothing more than a speckle of the darkness he knew.

And then, a slap knocked him in the back of his legs. The feeling shot up his body as he turned his head back, and as he did, a hand pressed itself around both sides of his neck and began gripping him downwards. Wayne reached his arms back and grabbed the arms as its hands sunk deeper into his neck. Wayne knelt down and felt the weight that belonged to the hands behind him. Quickly, he thrust himself forward, allowing the weight to fall over him into the floor of the bottomless darkness.

The figure looked up at him with green eyes flashing.

Wayne released his hands from the figure and began stepping back.

The figure stood in the form of a woman.

“Vanessa...”, Wayne murmured.

In the distance, the sound of a thousand cheering began to surround him. Invisible souls clapping, and screaming, and chanting, and cheering. Wayne knew the cheer all to well. It was the cheer of thousands of fans; eager and blood thirsty.

“What's going on?”.

Vanessa said nothing and walked away from Wayne as turnbuckles and ropes began to surround him. Wayne began to walk towards Vanessa, but she seemed to vanish by the distant ropes. Stepping closer, the flash of red came forward. Growing and growing, even more with each step Wayne took. It was too late for Wayne as he caught the red flash surrounding Vanessa as she charged forward with a dropkick that hit Wayne hard against the chest.

Wayne fell back. Rolling over, Wayne held his chest as he stumbled to gain ground. He knew what a gunshot felt like and the pain ripping through his insides was a lot worse than a gunshot.

The sound of bells chimed in the distant darkness.

Crawling towards the ropes, Wayne pulled himself up and he'd be damned. Standing in the middle of the ring, dressed up like a referee, was him... The son of bitch responsible for this... All of this...

Drakz.

Wayne marched towards him and grabbed him by the collar. Drakz pushed Wayne back and pointed at his shirt. “You know the rules, my boy.”.

“What?”, Wayne growled.

“Best you look behind you.”.

“Why?”, Wayne growled again.

And there it was. A stinging shot that fired across his back that grew and grew. Wayne shook; still holding Drakz by the collar, Wayne slumped to his knees.

Drakz pushed himself off Wayne and left him in the center of the darkened ring. Wayne kept himself where he was, still shaking; half his body in tremendous agony.

Another shot struck Wayne. This time it was against the back of his head. Wayne's head jerked back as he began to slump down further. Something was holding him by the back of the head, preventing him from falling further. Wayne looked up, and it was Vanessa; an evil grin etched upon her face.

“I loved you, but I never wanted the life you gave me.”, Vanessa said, scornfully. “I never thought about it and I never prayed for it.”.

Wayne didn't know what hurt him more; her words or her shots.

“You don't have to worry about it anymore, you know. Just go, please.”.

“No, Wayne.”. Vanessa said as she pulled him, face-first, into the bulk of her charging knee. “I was weak. Being with Sean made me that way and then you came along and in my moment of weakness, you took me. And I was naïve and young, and I gave into your promises of happiness at the expense of my life.”. Once again, Wayne was pulled into the shots of her knees. But this time, she didn't stop to say something. She kept at it. Striking him again and again and again.

Shoving Wayne down, she looked over his bloodied and broken shell of a face.

“Aren't you going to even fight me back?”.

Wayne's legs twitched, to which Vanessa rushed forward to deliver another violent blow against his face.

“Do you love me?”.

“Yes.”.

“You told me once, very long ago, that you would do anything for me... Right?”, Vanessa asked.

“Yes.”.

“Then my love, answer me: aren't you going to even fight me back?”.

“No.”.

“And why not?”.

“Because I love you.”.

“Well, isn't that a shame.”.

“I'm starting to think so.”.

“Good. Because I think its just starting to occur to you that I never loved you.”.

Wayne looked up at Vanessa... What could have been tears were covered over blood. She saw him in agony, agony from the pain she caused him. She saw it, but what she didn't see, what she was blind to, was the pain shooting him from the inside. Eating at him.

Vanessa sat over Wayne and looked down at him.

“I hope you can see this from where Drakz and all of these people around us are standing.”.

“Why?”.

“Because this is how I always thought of you.”.

“What's that supposed to mean?”.

“You really are blind, aren't you?”, Vanessa said as she dropped herself close to his ear, leaning in for a whisper, “You're beneath me, Biker boy... Always have, always will.”.

The bastard Marc appeared behind Vanessa.

Vanessa arched back and wrapped herself around the bulk of Marc. “This is the man.”, Vanessa began. “The man I've always wanted, the man I thought I had in you.”. Vanessa dropped her head and kissed Marc in a powerful kiss. God damn it, Wayne could see their tongues coiled against each other.

Marc positioned himself closer to Wayne and continued to kiss Vanessa; passionately, before his very eyes. Marc turned away from Vanessa and looked down at Wayne to drop a thick hock of spit. “I think I'm gonna be a better father, better husband, than you'll ever be.”, Marc said laughing as he kicked Wayne in the gut.

“I guess you were right Vanessa.”, Marc said. “He is a worthless piece of shit that happened to get lucky! Aren't ya, Biker boy?”. Marc charged forward and kicked Wayne again. Positioning himself over Wayne, Marc repositioned Vanessa so that her legs were wrapped around his and in that position, they kissed again.

Drakz crawled towards Wayne and asked, “Do you give up?”.

Wayne didn't answer.

Still kissing Vanessa, Marc began shoving stomps across Wayne's chest.

Drakz, the referee, took Wayne's arm and held it up. Letting go, he watched it drop as he raised his arms and screamed, “One.”.

“Daddy!”, Scarlett screamed from a distance.

Here she was.

His ray of hope.

Maybe she would save him.

No.

He couldn't put her up to this.

Couldn't bare to.

“Run away, Honey Bunny!”, Wayne shouted as Drakz raised his arms again and let go. Wayne allowed his arm to fall as Drakz shouted, “Two!”.

“I wasn't talking to you.”, Scarlett said pointing at Marc as Drakz raised Wayne's arm again. “I was talking to my Daddy!”.

Wayne's arm didn't fall. It stood there at the sound of Wayne's shout. Pushing Drakz away, Wayne shot up; lunging forward, Wayne pushed Marc away from Vanessa and dragged him to the turnbuckle. Ripping off his gloves, Wayne screamed as he began to pound Marc's face with punch after punch after punch.

“This is for taking my my wife away from me!”, Wayne shouted amidst the fury of the punches. “This is for turning her against me! And this is for taking Scarlett as your own!”. Wayne shoved Marc down to the canvass and motioned over him. Grabbing the bastard Marc by the hair, shoved his head into the canvass over and over again. “I should have done this back in the airport! I should have given you the beating you so rightfully deserved!”. Wayne returned to throwing punches, shouting. “FUCK YOU FOR TAKING MY LIFE!”.

In the distance, Wayne saw Vanessa spring forward for an attack, but Wayne rose and caught her with a grab around her neck. Holding her, Wayne shouted, “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? AFTER EVERYTHING I GAVE YOU! FOR TEN YEARS NOTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE MATTERED BUT YOU! I LOVED YOU AND I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I HAD AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO PULL THIS SHIT ON ME! HOW DARE YOU! YOU SAY YOU PUT YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE, WHAT ABOUT MINE, HUH? ALL THOSE YEARS I PUSHED MYSELF THROUGH PHYSICAL TORMENT JUST TO PROVIDE FOR YOU AND SCARLETT! GOD DAMN IT, VANESSA! DID THAT EVER MATTER AT ALL?! ”.

Wayne saw the tears running down Vanessa's eyes. It was tears of pain, the kind of tears that people wore during their final moments. Wayne let go and as he did another feeling started to sink in.

“No.”, Wayne cried out as Vanessa's fell. Wayne caught her in his arms and wept. “No... No... Vanessa. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... Come on baby, wake up... No... Please... No...”. Wayne dropped his head on Vanessa's shoulder as his cries turned into mournful wails.

Vanessa coughed.

She was alive.

Vanessa looked up at Wayne, in that sweet way she would each time she'd get out of bed in the morning.

Vanessa smiled and softly, and sweetly said, “Hey...”.

Wayne held her tighter and kissed her, saying back, “Hey.”.

“Wayne...”.

“Yeah.”.

“You were always that stupid weren't you.”, Vanessa said scornfully.

“What?”.

Vanessa pushed herself up and kissed Wayne and said, “Just remember, I loved you and my kisses will forever taste of another man.”. With those words, Scarlett came over and swung a chair against Wayne's head.

Wayne slumped over.

This was it.

He was not going to stand back up.

He was not going to rise.

This was it now.

And amen; let it be.

Wayne watched as Vanessa ascended the top of the turnbuckle and took air in that splash of hers... The corkscrew nine hundred degree splash. Wayne watched as her body turned over again and again. She was beautiful up there, she was like an angel. And despite everything she caused him, he knew, then and there, he loved her... And this love came without bounds.

Vanessa crashed over him and Wayne could have sworn that she had ripped him in half when she did. Vanessa lingered over him. Wayne saw her profile from the side... She was so beautiful. That face... He just wanted to kiss it and tell her a thousand times that he loved her, whether she'd accept it or not.

Behind him, Wayne heard the sound of Drakz' hand slapping the mat.

This was it.

One.

Two..

Three...

With the final slap, everything seemed to disappear. It vanished and as it did, it gave into light. A darkened, bluish light that stood over a shaded portrait of a hotel room.

"A dream...", Wayne murmured, as he cried in relief. "It was all just a stupid dream.".

<***>

The only thing Wayne could see now was the picture he was holding, firmly by the edge; staring back at him. For the rest of the world, the only picture any of us could see was a man holding a picture, sitting on the edge of the bed; staring at a recent memory that seemed to come and pass so long ago.

It was another time in his life.

A time, he reckoned would never end.

But it did.

And Wayne'd be damned, it hurt.

Wayne grunted, forcing out any hint of emotion he could show. He couldn't show, not even now. Wayne wasn't alone. Behind him, Scarlett lay asleep, a peaceful sleep, tucked beneath a mound of blankets, with a pillow shielding her on the her open side at the other end of the bed.

Beneath Wayne's eyes was a pool of tears that we're waiting to fall, if he'd only let it. But he couldn't. He couldn't show this emotion... Not to himself, not to God or his father above, and not, especially not, to his sleeping daughter... He was her Superman, for Christ sake. He had to be strong for her. He had to show her he could face anything, regardless of who or what it was.

Wayne looked down at the picture. It was a taken at a photo booth, the kind that snapped a new picture every few moments and released them in a glossy strip of seven or so photos. He remembered stepping out of the booth and dividing them. Wayne kept one, Vanessa kept one, and Scarlett kept one. The rest was packed along with other family photos... Jesus, they weren't a family no more.

In what Wayne held in his hand was a nice little shot Scarlett in the front, with Vanessa's behind with her chin docked over Scarlett's forehead, and behind Vanessa, was Wayne, doing the same. Vanessa called it their “Beatles Picture”.

Wayne kept his eye on one person and one person only, and that was Vanessa. They could have talked about it, they shouldn't have turned away like that. He should have said something; anything would have helped. They could have worked it out, but damn it, if the though of that Marc bastard didn't stop him... The way he walked into the terminal, all confident holding Vanessa's hand, and Jesus Christ, the way he called Scarlett sweetie... Just who did he think he was? That fucker... First, he takes his wife away and then he takes his daughter.

Wayne began to shake and call; echoing a chuckle and a cry.

Here was some dipshit who couldn't amount to anything, so he had to take it on himself to take away another man's family.

Drakz.

Wayne began to chuckle.

Their doing something... Their working together, there's something going on, and even if he can't see it, he just knows it... There's something there.

It was all starting to make sense.

That message Wayne saw on Vanessa's phone... It wasn't just for her. It was for him. And everything after, it just fell into place... Drakz knew, as well as Wayne did that Vanessa was gonna put herself on the line to cover him with what little she could with the rain of chairs that came into the ring... Maybe Marc was there... What if Drakz got Marc a ticket to be there, in attendance, and on cue, he'd have Marc start a riot by tossing whatever chair he could into the ring.

Something like that doesn't just happen spontaneously. It happened once in '94, and that was real, and since then, it was a rarity; like a tribute that most likely happened by having a plant on the spot instigate it... And Marc, was the plant.

But man, why would Marc do something like this? The guy was a complete dick, but he reckoned he wasn't an asshole... But maybe, just maybe, he knew that this was his opening to Vanessa. To have her husband break down, admit things he shouldn't have otherwise known, to a worldwide audience, and from something as humiliating as that, Vanessa'd leave him.

Marc did this... And he needed someone smart and capable to execute it. Someone who was a master at silent anarchy. Someone like Drakz.

“It's all startin' to make sense, now. I really thought it wouldn't, but it is... It's all starting to form in front of me, as clear as the picture I'm holding in my hand right now.”.

Wayne gazed down at the picture again, and looked only at Vanessa's. Closing his eyes, Wayne gulped and allowed the tears to stream down. Wayne's chest felt heavy as something started to sink, something that hurt. Something that just made him feel wrong... Wrong about what he was doing, wrong about the thoughts he was conjuring, and wrong about the choice he accepted... He could have done more. He could have something else... It was just wrong, dammit. Wrong.

“No... I can't see it, but I can feel it... I know where all his is going to lead me and I don't like it. It won't do anything for me, and this paranoia will not do me any good. If anything it's just going to harm me.

A lot of people gave me the credit of always having my head on straight and knowing whats right and wrong. And I've got no one, no one else, to put the blame on, but myself. I did all this... Maybe if I had spoken to Vanessa right after I saw that message, she'd here with Scarlett and me. And then she and I would have been able to resolve all that, whatever it was.

You see, I've been distancing myself and in the process, I turned a really small thing into something that's larger than myself and I put all the wrong people at fault. What started all this... The root of it all was that you attacked me, Drakz.

If you take away Vanessa, our break up, and the bastard Marc, all this stems from the fact that I took charge and spoiled your fun when you took it upon yourself to answer Alex Sean's request to withdraw your title shot in exchange of running the hell you wanted, without any interruption or consequence.

Drakz, I believe in fate, destiny, and consequence. As people in a moving world, every choice we make, every action and step we take, leads us all connected to each other, one way or another. So I reckon, maybe it was my time to face you.

I made a choice to watch out for the rookies, and you in turn, chose to deposit your title shot in favor of uninterrupted fun, at the expense of everyone around you. Those two decisions on both our parts led us to path headed towards SuperBrawl. As unrelated as they may seem, it was the force of nature at work. You beat a poor kid senseless, and in turn, I did what I had to do to save him. Now, maybe that caused me more pain, and grief, and anguish, but it was justly needed... Because, it was decided, for me, that I needed a little push to face you.

Because while Luke McCarthy may mean little to nothing to you, he represents something to me. Scarlett's fascinated with the world Vanessa and I established ourselves in. While its something I hope that passes, I can't deny that maybe one day, this will be what she plans on doing for the rest of her life. So when you were taking out that kid, I saw a monster destroying someone's son, someone's child... In short, I saw you beating on my daughter.

You have to understand and maybe in a strange way appreciate how I look at the world, because it isn't mine. I had the world ten years ago. I saw that world and lived and thrived in it, but now... That world isn't mine anymore... It belongs to my daughter. And I'm taking it upon myself to rid the world of violent and hateful people just like yourself to make sure, that the world she steps into is a safer place.

This is my reasoning for facing you. Granted, it's been something I've been dreaming about for awhile, but I always expected it to be on simpler terms. A quick match, maybe even an encounter in a tournament of sorts. Nothing like this. But its what we've been provided and we just have to accept it.

I can't say that I'm gonna beat you. I can't say that I'm gonna walk out of SuperBrawl a winner. I don't know that and I can't make that assumption yet because I haven't faced you. I won't truly know until I face you again, God forbid. So I will say this, I know what lies ahead of me. And I know that I am going to be walking out of SuperBrawl in no shape than I did coming in. I know I'm gonna get hurt, I know I'm gonna wind up bloodied, and I know I'm going to experience the kind of pain that I'm too scared to face... But you know what, breaking up, with someone you love and someone you've invested nearly ten years with... That alone hands you a vicious wall of pain that is unbearably unimaginable. It hurts. It isn't like a wound that you can just suture up and heal... It stays with you, for the rest of your life. Tormenting you with anguish and regret every time you close your eyes.

This is the pain I feel. This is the pain I have to deal with every day and there ain't anything to fix it up but time... Only time, when it feels so selfishly deserving can heal this pain of mine. But it'll still be there... Even when I've moved on. I just have to see a picture, and I'll be faced with sweet memories of a time that has run its course, and that sweetness will pass and in its turn will come the pain... In a smaller dose, but its still a hurt that's too well known.

For all I know, I'm gonna spend my entire life in agony.

But there ain't a mountain of punishment you can give me that can overpower that, regardless of how foreign or familiar it is. But I look forward... No, I anticipate your pain. Because, for one thing, it will distract me, but for another, it's only going to fuel my fire to hurt you more. Because whatever you give me, I will take, and I will use it to my own device, and with that I will hurt you... And win or lose, I will take what is left of you, and covered in your blood and mine, I will construct a monument of violence that I promise you will never forget.”.

Wayne reached into his breast pocket and withdrew a pack of cigarettes and lit up a stick. Wayne took a drag and held up the picture again. Exhaling, Wayne dropped himself forward, looked at the shot of Vanessa and asked, “Where are you, right now? What are you doing? And if you'd let me, can I be there?.. I didn't know what to think or what to do. I was mad and I don't think you can blame me for that... But it didn't matter, because all I wanted, regardless of how mad I was to move on like it never happened.”.

Wayne took a drag as he fought back the tears again. Looking back at the picture, Wayne played the entire fight in his head. Her words overcame him like an uncontrollable torrent... Maybe this is what she wanted... Maybe this is what she wanted... Maybe she was what she wanted...

It started to sink in...

"Maybe this is what she wanted.", Wayne whispered.

Feeling the gentle tap behind him, Wayne turned back to find his daughter kneeling before him. “What's wrong, Daddy?”, she asked gently.

Wayne faced her. Covered in a mask of tears and eyes swelling crimson. This was it. The moment he feared the most. His facade was broken. He wasn't Superman anymore, he was just a man... Mere mortal.

Wayne took a drag. He didn't know what to answer. Anything said would be a lie.

“Do you miss Mommy?”, Scarlett asked.

Placing the cigarette on an ashtray, Wayne gently reached forward and hugged his daughter. Burying his face on her dark locks, Wayne murmured, “I do... Miss her so much.”.

Scarlett wrapped her arms around her father and said, “Why don't you talk to her?”.

Pulling away, Wayne held Scarlett's hand and said, “I can't.”.

“Why not?”.

“Because I don't know if she wants to talk to me.”.

“I'm sure she does. I know she misses you.”.

“Does she?”.

“She does. She doesn't say it, but I know.”, Scarlett replied as she reached out for the phone. Handing it to her father, she said, “Call her up.”.

Wayne wiped the tears from his face, smiled at Scarlett, and took the phone. “Wish me luck, Honey Bunny.”.

“Good luck, Daddy.”.

Flipping the phone open, Wayne searched through the numbers and dialed Vanessa's number. Wayne waited as it rang... Wayne wondered if he was catching her at the wrong time. What if she didn't want to talk?.. What if she hung up?.. What if she said nothing and found it strange that her ex-husband was calling at such a late hour?

No answer.

Wayne reckoned he'd give it three rings more.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

No answer. Just the voice mail.

“Nothing.”, Wayne said, turning his head as he looked at Scarlett.

“Try again.”.

Wayne nodded and dialed.

It rang, and it rang, and still no answer. Nothing.

Closing the phone, Wayne tossed it aside and said, “I guess that's it.”.

Wrapping her arms around Wayne's neck, Scarlett dropped her head against his and said, “I'm sorry, Daddy.”.

“It's alright.”, Wayne shrugged. Turing his head to Scarlett, Wayne asked, “Hey, do you want breakfast?”.

“Isn't it too early for breakfast?”.

“It's never too early for breakfast. What do you say, Honey Bunny?”.

Scarlett smiled and nodded.

“That's my girl! Get your jacket and let's get out of here.”.

"I can't refrain,
Though I know,
It's so plain,
She is my cain...

She is my night,
She is my day,
She is my sun,
She is my rain.

I can't complain,
Cause I know,
She's my bane...
She is my cain."
-From Wolfgang's "She Is My Cain",
Off The Concept Wurm,
Music & Lyrics By:
Basti Artadi & Mon Legaspi

[citizenmike]

A long while back...

“Hey.”.

“Hey...”.

“Have you ever thought about where we're going, with this?”.

“Sometimes, I do... Do you?”.

“Yeah, I do... More than sometimes, I reckon.”.

“What do you think about?”.

The morning sun pierced through the blinds and scattered itself over the room; its walls, the tv, the open door leading to the bathroom, and the bed Wayne and Vanessa were lying on. They both lied on their sides facing one another; sheets coating the broken facade they wore when they came into the room the night before.

Wayne didn't know what to answer. The answer was simple to say; he thought about it, a lot. He knew what he wanted, where to go, and what to say. And looking at her, lying in front of him, with that half-baked smile she'd wear upon waking, Wayne found it hard to even utter the words... Didn't even know where to start. It was a heavy gamble he was afraid to lose.

What if what he wanted wasn't the same as what she did? His mind raced and raced, that he could almost hear it. Rolling over to the night table, Wayne reached out for the pack of smokes and placed two sticks between his lips. Turning back over, Wayne took the ashtray, placed it between Vanessa and himself, lit the cigarettes and handed a stick to Vanessa. In turn, Vanessa took the cigarette in her hand and kissed Wayne gently.

“You haven't answered, you know.”, Vanessa said as she pressed for a drag.

Wayne exhaled and replied, “I know.”.

“Do you have an answer?”.

“I do.”.

Vanessa took a drag, and held the exhale as she asked, “So, what is it it Wayne?”.

Wayne took a drag himself and gave himself a moment to form the the words. Exhaling after several moments, Wayne answered, “I reckon I want to be with you.”.

“You reckon?”, Vanessa pressed, chuckling.

“I do.”, Wayne said as he closed his eyes. “'Matter of fact, I wanna be with you for as long as possible. I mean, if you don't want that, that's alright. There's no pressure, but its out there. I said it. You know what I want from this.”.

Vanessa lay on her back and took another drag. Exhaling, she said, “You're a lucky son, do you know that?”.

“I've been feelin' like that lately. Why?”.

“Because silly.”, Vanessa said as she turned her head to look at Wayne, grinning ethereally. "I love you."

“If I asked you to marry me, would you?”.

“I would.”, Vanessa replied gently as she reached out to graze Wayne's cheek. “I'm sure of it, I know. But I need a sign.”.

“A sign?”.

Vanessa nodded and replied, “Yeah... Just a little something that could tell us that the time's right and we're ready, but other than that... I'm yours.”.

Wayne leaned in over Vanessa and kissed her. Vanessa wrapped her arms around Wayne and kissed back. Pushing Wayne away, Vanessa smiled and said, “How about we put these cigs away before anything else?”.

Sometime Later...

It was cold in the waiting room. Even with the jacket on, it was still freezing. Wayne shook and shivered as he waited for Vanessa. He didn't know if it was the bad fall she took the other night during a match, but she wasn't well.

Huddled up in the corner as he sat on a plastic chair, Wayne was nervous... The vomiting, all the trips to the bathroom, the fatigue, and that strange feeling in her belly, what ever it was... Jesus, it could be anything...

Fuck the cold.

"Mr. McGurk."

Something inside him dropped when Wayne heard the doctor call him. He could have sworn he heard his heart stop the moment he looked up the doctor. The guy was taking his time. Whatever needed to be said should have already been said, and the guy was just leaving him hanging in trail of cold sweat.

"I think its best if you come into the examination room.".

Wayne rose and followed the doctor into the examination room. He needed a smoke.

Vanessa sat on the gurney and reached out for Wayne's hand.

He knew he was walking to her as fast as he could, but the reach to her hand seemed a lot longer than it should have been. In time, he felt his hand over hers.

Looking up at him, tearing, Vanessa nodded towards the monitor and said, "Look...".

Wayne turned his head towards the monitor and asked, "What am I looking at?".

"A sign.", Vanessa murmured as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"A sign?", Wayne murmured as he looked at the tiny dot the doctor pointed at.

"Congratulations, Mr. McGurk.".

Wayne cracked a half smile that trailed along one side of his face. At first it was a sigh of relief, then it grew into something else. Something he reckoned he hadn't felt before. It was this feeling of happiness that just seemed to overwhelm him. He just felt happy and it was feeling that raced around his body... He couldn't explain it.

"Do you see it now?".

"I do... It's beautiful, whatever it is.".

"It's our sign.".

Wayne turned back to Vanessa, smiling amidst a stream of tears; she was glowing. Wayne held her hand as tight as he could and interlocked his fingers between hers. Holding it tighter, Wayne knelt over and kissed her hand.

"Hey.".

Leaning over to kiss Wayne, Vanessa said back, "Hey...".

"Let's get married?".

Lingering over him, Vanessa's smile grew as a stream of tears fell down her face. Nodding she asked, "Like right now?".

"Yes, right now.".